Memory in Afterlife

Breathing is in my nature
It’s somehow the thing I took most for granted
Never did I know how or what it was really
Until the day it was taken away

What felt like hours has just been a few missing breaths
I knew something was wrong
Where did my anchor go
The thing that created a sort of hum in the background

The everlasting movement of rise and fall
Again rise and fall
It was gone, like a ship no longer visible crossing the horizon
And there was nothing

Nothing to replace it
Like being lost at sea, but the sea is still
There’s no ebb, no flow
Just there

No being, no knowing
It just is
The voice is more like a loop, there’s nothing new there
It’s just everything that’s already been said

I remember waking up
I remember being alive
It’s like a movie now
I watch it on replay, over and over and over

Never do I wonder what else, never can I get up and walk around
Never again will I look over at a person next to me and laugh
Feeling them as if we’re one
It’s all just on replay

The magic in life was all that I could engage
Touching the bark of the tree, eating the ripe cherry
Stroking the strands of my lovers hair, whispering in my cats ear
Blowing my out-breath to the sky, I love you I’d say

I could forever engage with everything, every moment
The good and bad, even being angry now brings a little smile
How much energy came with those tumultuous interactions
Passion like a great storm on the ocean thrashing the boat about nearly killing everyone involved

Now I just sit and reminisce, with a little smirk on my face
I wish I had, I wish I was, I wish to be now as I was then
I wish, to be